What Not To Do If You Want a Magical Life

There’s this thing we ALL do that keeps us from creating and living a life we love. 

It’s tied to a decision-making framework we pick up early in life from our family, teachers, and the socio-cultural environment we grow up in.

It influences our choices and thoughts all the time and we rarely (if ever) question it. We even pass this onto our children without knowing it.  

It helps us make sense of the world and keeps us feeling safe, but when done blindly it’s also the very thing that binds us and sucks the magical goodness out of life. 

        Keeping us from being true to ourselves.  Keeping us from listening to our intuition.

        Keeping us from creating our lives freely.  Keeping us from experiencing deep love.

        Keeping us accessing irreverent joy.  Keeping us from inviting in the unimaginable.   

The Most Powerful Decision I Made Last Year

Before I share with you what this pattern is, I want to let you know why I’m feeling called to share this with you. The most powerful decision I made last year was something “naughty” I did last January. 

I went away on a MeTreat for a long weekend with me, myself, and I.

I kissed my family goodbye and drove off feeling 100% giddy (and 0% guilty) with my hair flailing wildly in the wind, and no agenda besides following an inner calling for uninterrupted silence, space, sleep, and deeply listening to my soul. 

The holidays are over, I should be working on my business!

My son starts school next week, I should be getting him ready for it!

My husband is still on vacation, I should be spending time with him!

Instead of spending money on me, I should be saving money! 

I’m so glad I didn’t listen to these shoulds. Looking back, I can clearly see how this MeTreat influenced my life, my business, my relationships, and my financial well-being last year for the better. Needless to say, I’ve decided to make it an annual tradition. 

That Which Binds Us

Without asking for it, early in our lives we’re given a map of how things are and a list of rules of what’s right and wrong, good and bad, appropriate and inappropriate… We use this map as a guide to what we should and shouldn’t do.

When we do the things we should do, we get approval and if we’re really “good” we get words of affirmation, high-fives, hugs and gold stars.  If we break the rules, we’re likely shamed, judged or punished in some way. Approval, gold stars and – at times even love – is withheld.

And so we learn to refer to this map, follow the rules, be “good”, and base our decision-making on all of these shoulds. ​​​​​​​Like a well-trained puppy, conditioned to sit and stay in exchange for treats — giving our power away rather than following our natural urge to jump on the counter and claim the whole bag of dog treats. ​​​​​​​

A Life Unbound, Should-Free

To live a boundless, magical life we cannot continue to blindly operate within this conditioned framework of rules, inherited beliefs, and shoulds.  

We need to reconnect with our inner  2 year old who laughs at the rules and doesn’t take no as a final answer, our inner 3 year old who incessantly pushes boundaries, and our inner 4 year old who questions everything to figure out what is really true. 

Sure, we may fall down the stairs as we jump over the child safety gate to explore what lies beyond, but this is how we step outside the “normal” box and uncover a whole new world to explore on the other side. 

I try to be good, but sometimes a person just has to break out

and act like the wild springy thing one used to be. 

 

It’s impossible to not remember wild 

and want it back. 

                                           ~ Mary Oliver

 

I invite you today to explore which rules and shoulds are no longer serving you, set an intention to lovingly release them, and then reconnect with your wild, springy, rule-breaking and rule-making self. 

As you do this, here’s a mantra to support you: 

If you still love gold stars, stop trying to earn them. Download the ones above (just click on the image!), or go to the store and stock up on them.

I keep a bunch handy in my home and tell my son he can have as many as he wants, whenever he wants, because love and gold stars don’t need to be earned. ⭐️⭐️⭐️ 

Big love,